How Not To Bring A Girl To Hysterics: The Harm Of Excessive Care
Post on 06,July 2017   5:46 AM
By - PolyEyes Staff
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You are considerate, caring, you do everything for her, you give her the best - even if she does not understand it. But why then she cries and complains to her friends? Our expert in the field of relations knows the answer. Relax for a while and read it.

In the everyday speech of psychologists, the term "rape with care" appears more and more often. Even a few studies were written on this topic. Their main synapse is this: a man comes to visit his mother. This is a great event for her, so she cooks a plentiful dinner, with which you can feed half of the hungry people on our planet. When the long-awaited meeting came to an end, mother began to collect a bag for her son with his favorite food. She asked the question: "Did not you, Johnny, love a roasted beef liver?". The son answered firmly and unequivocally: "No". But when he came home, he found a "surprise" in his food bag. Guess which one? Yes, there was roasted beef liver. Many of you will say that there is nothing wrong with that. An adult man should not complain that his mother showed a little more care than needed. This position is taken by an absolute majority. But what about the opinion of the "opposite side?" As it turned out, such excessive care has serious shortcomings that can lead to frustration in the relationship.

Surely many of you have heard similar stories, told by women. Only the men play a role of "mother": fathers, brothers, grooms, boyfriends, and husbands. Here is one completely typical story with the same moral.

Mary's birthday was approaching. She decided a long time ago what gift she wanted from her husband, but she did not dare to ask for it herself. She was brought up differently. And so, three days before the cherished date, the husband finally asked Mary about the gift. She said she wants a computer. Quite a specific computer. They went to the hardware store together, Mary spent several hours, but found the model that she liked more than others. When the morning of the long-awaited birthday came, near Mary's bed there was a large package. In it, as you can guess, there was a computer. But not the one that Mary chose. Her husband hurried with an explanation: "This computer is almost the same, expensive, but much better. It has more powerful technical characteristics and generally it is steeper. " But Mary was guided by very different criteria when choosing a computer. The organoleptic properties were important to her. She wanted to work with a computer, lying on the sofa or sitting in her favorite chair. Of course, Mary remained silent and accepted her husband's gift with gratitude. But there was an unpleasant residue in her soul. After all, in fact, her opinion was neglected.

A party that manifests such a hyperope will not always see all the pitfalls. And it's not just their fault. It is also the fault of those who regularly and silently accept these bear hugs in which you can suffocate. If your direct request is ignored in favor of the opposite opinion of a person who "knows" what is "better" for you, you simply are liable to pay attention to this. Your and your loved one. Do it gallantly or speak directly. But if you remain silent, you will not notice how excessive care will turn into a source of constant irritation or even hatred. If you know how to be honest with yourself and you know that you have such a disadvantage - stop and start listening to other people. In the end, excessive care is very similar to total egoism. Remind yourself that love is not just about care. Love is a kind of freedom space where people value and respect each other. This is the space of "absolute audibility". This is a space where two people make each other happier. Believe us, the new iPhone, which your girlfriend wants on her birthday, will make her much happier than a Chinese smartphone with the steepest technical characteristics that you chose for her. Leave your selfishness aside and do, finally, what is asked of you. Otherwise, you risk being left alone.

Thanks to our friends from Ukranian girl on Godatenow for providing this article.

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